Private Road (1987)

*

Screened as part of the Night Drop Box returns.

The cover as you can see has great potential, i'd certainly never heard of it before. Sadly I could tell by the first few shots that this was going to be terrible. This could be turned into a fun little drinking game though, drink a shot every time you see someone play a musical instrument. Within the first 20 minutes or so you see a sax, a guitar, bass guitar, violin, drum kit and even a grand piano! It's insane.
The only fun part is when the hot maid walks in on Brad as he's naked, he runs back into bed and then she decides to give him some extra servicing, but that only lasts for a few seconds.

Is it me or was George Kennedy the luckiest guy to ever receive an Oscar? He just can't act.

The plot is paper thin too. A guy gets knocked off his motorbike by some 'tipsy' rich girl and then he blackmails the family for all it's worth. Kennedy is the father of said family and flashes the cash around like it's going out of fashion, even inviting an entire police squad into his exec lounge for dinner in an effort to save face.

Terrible plotless, pointless garbage. Avoid. A lesson to us all - never judge a movie by it's awesome cover.